Green Ink: Ramblin's and Writing

Emptiness, you are the mother of all things.

Ideals encircle me; closed, complete.  Fixtures in which there is no need, no restless hum to search, to seek.  Idols; dead things.  They are not real!  But I am.  I am real.  Therefore presence must be Here, but I am not aware of it because I am it.

I am bleeding green all over this page and my rage is... quiet, but thick and filling the air of my dreams for life with death, death, death.  I can't Imagine from reality, or tell a story to inspire me.

Help.

Who?

Who do you think?

There is only one help, the Universe is it's name.  It runs on Mystery and befuddling is its beginning and end.  Whatsoever thou be called, thou Art.

Thou simply Art.

so, tell me a story.  A good one, spun with love like a drunk, happy spider.

********************************


I've been down long enough to realize
that this is the forest floor.

My eyes, once blinded, are growing accustomed to the silver-blue glow of moonlight that reveals silhouettes of puff-ball purple flowers and sprays of yellow buds that shiver and spark in all their simplicity and make the night worth living through..

On a never-ending journey through the Heart of this forest, we are... sweet like roses... wise as snakes... we are... in the flow; the green ink that runs through her trees.



********************************

Inky Dark

I am the inky, quiet dark
that precedes your spinning spark:
footfalls like a great gold bear,
on mountain galaxies hung in air.

Stars spin themselves into being, released,
when we kiss - endless, restless peace.
Itchy, twitchy, richly bliss,
deep thrumming hums, can you handle this?

I am the wrecked battle ship,
fit for firing bone to bits.
I shattered into a kindling heap
on rocks like flocks of sharpened sheep.

This pitiable pile will be rebuilt,
into a home, a cabin on stilts.
The truce was called, I raised the bar
that stopped the flow of Whatever You Are

I am wood and flesh and bone;
I am home for spirit in stone.

I am bewildered, therefore I write.
May we sweep the cobwebs...
and turn on the light?

---Evergreen

Dream Over Analysis #1

I really enjoyed my dream last night, as I often do during my monthly cycle.  Gents, I'm sure that's too much information; Ladies, consider keeping a dream journal? - you might find some beauteous things happening in your dream world during your cycle...  It's a powerful time once a month to shed old dreams and let new ones come to the surface.

I dreamed I was living on an island, surrounded by the sea.  I was part of a water-tribe of some sort, and our simple celebrations of the seasons brought a lot of color to our lives, as did our primitive and symbolic art.  I had children, and taught them art and anthropology in a classroom that looked out on the ocean.  One day, on the chalkboard, I saw a drawing of a white triangle and a black triangle butted against each other, and words appeared:  "Leo Noble is to marry Linda Wilde."  Perhaps my conscious (Leo sun sign) and subconscious (Libra moon sign) minds are getting serious about taking their relationship to the next level?

Leo is obvious enough - the Lion King of the skies, ruled by the sun. Warm, effulgent, positive.

Linda... I had to look up the name.  It means "soft, gentle" in its germanic roots, "pretty" in spanish, and may reference Oroboros as in "Lindworm" (seaserpent).  Wikipedia says: "Muchalinda is also the name of the naga (snake-like being), who protected the Buddha from the elements after his enlightenment" 

I like that last part the best... and it is relevant to something I've been pondering lately, which is the role of the ego...

I like to make people comfortable, I try to be as pleasant as possible, and sometimes I am a regular ol' ball of fluff and sunshine.  But I also have this trouble with Not Saying What I Really Want, and then getting super pissed when people don't read my mind.  So that's dumb.

Leo (happy cat) and Linda (snarky serpent) need to work together in their relationship as Aspects of My Personality.

I was under an incredible amount of stress for several days this week due to poor planning on my part and the looming deadline of needing to move everything I own from one city to another.  I wanted to ask for help with these tasks, but... I really didn't.  People even offered help that I turned down, and I ended up doing most everything myself.  This story doesn't have a 180 degree turnaround where everything got easier.  It was just stupid.  I should ask for help when I need it.

The fluffball of Love and effulgence (the serene and most enlightened Buddha)... well, sometimes he needs a silver-tongued and shrewd shepherdess (the naga that surrounds the light, shielding it from the harsh elements of life) to speak up and get shit done!

I'm glad I am both.  What would the one do without the other?  Happily married, dark and light, for life. <3

Look, here is a duck with a sun for one arm and a moon for the other... ;}

In the Vine

My psyche is a colorful place.  I hope you will enjoy reading the tales of my inner and outer adventures as I embark on a new branch of my life's journey.

This blog is a place for me to spill thoughts and make interesting word-y messes, untangle and weave idea webs and create castles in the sky and roots for them in the earth.  I'm gonna see if I can put the inner metaphors and outer realaphors into the same storytelling blog...

It's been a wonderful two years of wild adventures.  I've wandered like a nomad from ideas and places that used to seem utterly fixed in stone, and it has been liberating indeed.  I've learned that nothing is fixed in stone, except our thought forms and maybe the law of gravity.  And I've also learned that to accept the anomie, the loose ends inherent in this whirled, I can begin to catch a glimpse of the seamless unity that lurks in the connectedness of all things.  Always a valley before a hill, always a night before a dawn...  This is my inner experiment: to bring light (to "enlighten") all of the dense and darkened corners of my psyche.  As Jung said, "Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light, but making the darkness conscious."

In my external direction, this took the form of purposely placing myself in uncomfortable situations, like the Hanged One in tarot, to challenge myself and hopefully grow.  Last year on Yah B'Shvat (Tu B'Shvat - the jewish new year for Trees), I set an intention for myself that I would release my Judgemental nature.  Every day that I walked to work here in Austin, TX at a frame shop / art gallery, I passed a car (not-so-coincidentally the same model I used to drive in San Anton' two years ago), with a bumper sticker that said "Prejudice rarely survives experience."  And this is what I was after: Wisdom, which is rooted in Experience. I wanted to experience life, experience being human, to a fuller extent than I had before..  to break down the jericho walls of my own cloistered heart, and stand with two feet on the ground, where I could feel the earth's heartbeat connect me to every human and creature and tree.

But I have so much to learn!  The more I know, the more I know I do not know!  So I keep at it, a fool, a novice, on the path of Love.

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And now I am taking the leap into the greatest journey yet:  I am moving to Israel in a few weeks, where I plan to learn hebrew, learn arabic, love my family, dance with other open-hearted Lovers and Friends, and become more fully responsible for myself in both artistic and practical ways.  I want this blog to continue to connect us, heart-to-heart, my dear friends I have met along the way.

May your year be blessed, and may you hear your heart speak, leading you in the best way to your own bliss and growth.

Love always,

Debs
aka
‎דבורה ליאורה

She

We have no mother but the Earth
From her we take our noble birth
Her spirit is the wind, you see
She's the Person of reality

She lives in me

I tell you, it's no metaphor
We have a goddess to adore
And she is here
Near and clear

She is our mother earth

And if you hear her call to you
From within a mind that's blue
Don't resist her presence now
Let your ego take a bow
Join the flow, don't stay apart

Serve her Heart

And she will lead your mind to peace