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All about the Mama...

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

oooOOOOOooooooo

methinks my destiny is hiding in the fabric of this reality.

In the Ma-trix.

Sometimes when I get up and walk around in this physical world, I feel like I'm travelling through a landscape of form that is gestating possibility, and I feel like I am playing a game of seeking and creating hidden treasure.

Here, at this level where "it is the glory of God to conceal a matter, and the glory of Queens to search it out." :} Mishlei 25.2 {:


כבד אלוהים הסתר דבר וכבד מלכים חקר דבר

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

אמנו אל ~ Taking the Long Way to a Simple Idea.

I have something to say, y'all!

I've been wanting to say this for awhile, but I'm not sure how to, so I guess I'll just spit it out.  This post (and blog) will be of no consequence to people who don't care about mythology or religion.  Although it's written from my own cultural perspective, the skilled mythology navigator will be able to cull the deeper meaning inherent in the specific stories used..  I care very deeply about the art of Storytelling and the interplay of humanity and divinity that we deal with as sentient beings.

Reality vs. Idealism
How it is vs. How it could/should be

The power to Dream, to abstract our thoughts - this is the unique gift of being human.  We can tell ourselves stories and engage in actions that lead us away from our Heart, our Center.  And then, we can tell ourselves stories and engage in actions that lead us back Home.  Fixed within all of this going out and coming in, all of this glorious *change* is the energy that makes us, changes us, heals us, breaks us, re-makes us.


So, I used to think a lot about the Bible, man.. I still do sometimes.  And I found something, something fun.  Something I think we might *Need*.  Or not, it's a free country (sort of).  Anyway, let me tell you a thrilling tale about my youth: I grew up in the great chasm between monotheistic faiths that is "Messianic Judaism" (yep), so a lot of my younger years, once I realized the tension of my position (neither here nor there, neither fully Christian nor fully Jew, but somehow a hybrid of Faiths, marginalized or vilified by both sides in their conventionally accepted full expression), was spent thinking deep thoughts and trying to mend this rift with my mind. 

That, and I had a kickass dance group for awhile.

Over the years, I looked outside my faith(s) for spiritual information and inspiration, trying to deepen my philosophical base, but I consistently searched for most of my life for a biblically based understanding.  I found something interesting, pressed between the pages of the Old Testament, which many consider to be the harsher side of the story in the Judeo-Christian narrative.  (I'll explain my discovery later.  First, I will ramble backstory:)

I think if taken literally, parts of the Old Testament could certainly lead to more violence and harsh judgement of one's neighbor, despite the command to "love your neighbor as yourself" squeezed in between all of the descriptions of how to build a tabernacle, which animals to sacrifice, which fabrics not to wear (wool + linen = the weave of the devil!) and how to make sure your house doesn't have mold in its walls.  It is interesting to note that the command to love one's neighbor is actually found in Leviticus 19:18 in the context of "Thou shalt not avenge nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  I am יהוה." ("I will be what I will be" - that's what יהוה means.)  It's not actually a command to love unconditionally; it's a command to Love your own people group.

This is exactly why I believe in "progressive revelation" of Spirit's full intention and meaning.  Humankind has been on this really fascinating experimental nation-tribe program for thousands of years... We may have begun as one people (I dunno, I wasn't there), but we quickly split into many tribes and tongues (in the biblical tradition this is known as the event of the Tower of Babel in Genesis 11).  And in the Old Testament what is asked of the Hebrew people is that they love each other, and deal justly with the foreigners who live among them.

Fast forward to the time of Jesus (skipping the biblical prophets for now; however, they say delightfully challenging things regarding the OT sacrificial system).  The Hebrew nation is no longer in control of its own destiny, but rather is occupied by Romans.  In 40 years, the people will lose their temple and be scattered for the next 2,000 years.  I guess Spirit knows this, so Jesus appears on the scene and says some *new things*.  How do you deal with an inevitable defeat and the end of an era for your people group?  The teachings of Jesus are legendary for the non-confrontational approach to conflict which they promote, i.e. "turn the other cheek" (Matthew 5:39).  There were many revolts against the Romans during the sad years of the occupation and diaspora, but none successfully turned the tide of the conflict.  Ultimately, Jesus' instruction to his followers to "love your enemies" and "pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44) instead of "living by the sword" (Matthew 26:52) as well as his instructions to flee from Jerusalem when it came under siege (Matthew 24:15-16) probably saved the lives of many of his followers when the event took place.

It's also where Messianic Judaism's inglorious status among the greater Jewish community began.  When the Jewish followers of their rabbi Jesus abandoned Jerusalem and Judea before the destruction of the Jewish Temple in 70 A.D., they were viewed as deserters by the Jewish community at large.  It was a turning point, with Pharisaical Judaism becoming the chief sect for the next 2,000 years and Messianic Judaism taking a step into the background of both the Jewish and Christian faiths.  However, the teachings of Jesus took on a new form and traveled far and wide to pagan lands, taking on elements of pagan mythology as they spread, until Christianity had become a new faith unto itself, and cut off from much of its Jewish roots.

The apostle Paul took the teachings of Jesus and extensively developed them, re-imagining the idea of "Christ-consciousness" as a higher mind that was benevolent and wanted to help humans not suck so hard.  Christ was an extrapolation of the Jewish concept of Mashiach (which means "anointed", as in, bodily doused with a carafe of oil, which was the practice ancient Hebrews used to designate leaders, priests and kings).  Jews today typically associate Mashiach with the idea of a man-savior who will politically redeem the reputation and standing of the people group of Israel.  Whether ancient Hebrews had the eastern/mystical concept of Mashiach consciousness in mind when they prophesied of a future redeemer I'm not sure.  I honestly believe that prophecy is of such a nature that when Spirit, the higher mind, speaks through us (as in the prophecies of the Old Testament, the rhymes of bohemian minstrels, the lyrical flow of modern-day poetry slam artists), we generally do not even realize the full significance of what is being said until later.

Love, Joy, Peace, all that good stuff that we hippies love to meditate on, becomes a part of Paul's elucidation on the teachings of Jesus.  The invisible energetic essence that is "Christ" bears a lot of similarity to the universal energy field, whose existence and nature consumes both students of energetic healing, as well as physicists who seek a "theory of everything" to explain the mechanics of the physical universe, albeit for varying reasons.  Personally, I doubt that we are discussing different spheres of existence.  It's probably all about This One.  And I don't really know enough to comment on the physics side of things, but I appreciate the concept that not only is Everything connected, but that Everything, as Einstein pondered, is (hopefully) basically benevolent.  That doesn't really make life on Earth less of a challenge.  Still, I can't help but think that mankind has needed to absorb and re-absorb these words over the millennia, perhaps indeed handed down from a Higher Mind: "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ" (Romans 8:1).  Or this: "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, nor is there male and female, for you are all One in Christ" (Galatians 3:28).  It's interesting, and frustrating, to see how ego, the little mind, persists within the Christian community, effectively disarming these linguistic firebombs that had the potential to disintegrate the boundaries of our love.

This quote and video, by Jeremy Rifkin, pretty much says everything I'm hoping to say, but better: "[can] we connect our empathy to a single race writ large in a single biosphere?"  The uplifting surge of communal connection, even across cultural boundaries, in the early days of Christianity suggest Spirit's trajectory from within the movement before the hot magma of pure transformative consciousness congealed and cooled into Just Another Set of Rules.

So, yeah, what now?  I perceive that the purpose of the storytelling, myth and religion that I love so dearly is, was and always will be to return us to a purity of Spirit, a pure perspective that sees not only reality, but simultaneously the spark of *whateveryouwannacallit*, יהוה, which longs to Love it to greater wholeness of Presence.  Healing the cavernous gap between the good I hope to bring to this reality, and the feeble actions which are within the scope of my one human life, is a tricky, desperate dance.  But I believe I have a partner, and it's no less than the great big Everything that we've been telling these stories about.  I still have to do my part, though.

I think by now (if you've made it this far!) you may have realized that there's a good deal of Christian in my psychic makeup.  That is accurate.  And it brings me (I hope, eventually, sigh XD) to my point.  I remember, growing up in my "crack between religions", hearing an awful lot of bad-mouthing toward both Judaism and Christianity, depending on who was talking.  The most common complaint was that Judaism was "too legalistic" and Christianity was "pagan".  Yes!!!  Exactly!!  I hate that pagan became a dirty word in our community.  Because at its core, Judaism is a pagan religion as well.  I know "pagan" has come to mean little more than "infidel", but what I've found in my experiences with pagan practices, is that they are invariably focused on the connection between a people group and its Land.  This is why I say Judaism is pagan as well, because our holiday circuit is just as agriculturally based as the next Mabon(Celtic) or Pongal(Hindu) agricultural-festival-celebrating pagan religion.  I'd just like to take a moment to ask: what the hell is wrong with that??  Why shouldn't we ritualize our connection to the Earth?   That is where we live, after all.

Ahem.  Here is a new idea..  In Isaiah 7:14, in response to some petty political shit, יהוה declares that things shall change, because some little guy is gonna get born.. "יהוה shall give you a sign; behold, a virgin (lots of debate in my heritage(s) on whether the term used means "virgin" or just "young woman"; it's the difference, perhaps, between vilifying or celebrating human sexuality) shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Imanu El."  The birth of this little dude shall herald some much-needed Hope.  (What is hope, if not that the Story goes on?...)

In contrast with the text-based patriarchal tradition inherent in Judeo-Christianity, is the mystical, experience-based Wisdom tradition that has continued to unfold even in these faiths, notably in the lives of women, who were so often denied access to the public study and debate of scriptural interpretation.  Julian of Norwich was a 14th Century British female anchoress and mystic who came to perceive God as a Mother through visions and life experiences.  In her writings, she inscribed the hope-filled verse "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well" - which is a fitting feminine counterpart to Jesus' words "behold, I make all things new" in Revelation 21:5. 

In Isaiah 7:15, regarding "Imanu El", the prophet goes on to say "Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good."  This could be a description of a leader/teacher who would come to maturity through experience-based learning, through an awareness of the extent and limits of his own perspective, and this is echoed in the New Testament about Jesus: "He did not need anyone to testify about man; for he himself knew what was in man" (John 2:25)

For fun, just for fun...  I want to show you what happens when you play with the Hebrew letters in the phrase "עמנו אל".  This phrase means "God is with us", or, more literally and more Yoda-like, "with us, (is) God".  It's pronounced "eemanu-el", or "aeemanu-el" if you go back to the ancient guttural pronunciation.  Here's the fun part.  If you trade the Ayin "ע" for an Aleph "א", in modern Hebrew, the pronunciation is still the same.  Both letters are "silent" letters that stand in for a vowel.  But if you use an Aleph, then the name is:

"אמנו אל"

"God, our Mother."

Did you ever consider the implications of the virgin-birth myth?  A man who is spontaneously conceived by a female would be a carbon-copy of her genetic material, would he not?  What would that mean for the life of the historical man, Jesus, about whom so many stories have been told - stories that have touched the lives of countless humans.  In genuine Christian conversion experiences, when the spark of divinity unfolds in a darkened human psyche, bitterness and hatred are replaced by Love and a "peace that passes all understanding" (Phillipians 4:7).

So this is my theory: Whether the stories are all 100% factual (and what epic tale is?), the man Jesus was a pure mirror of the heart of that great cosmic consciousness which is present in our Mother, Earth.  We all have this potential, but there are many tales to be told, and no tale will be the same.  Some have a wider impact, while some lives create an inspiration that becomes untraceable..  Revel in your unique chapter of the story, and be sure to Experience It.  It will not be repeated the same way twice!

This Earth is our home base and from her our bones were made.  All things being One (it's a tricky hypothesis, I grant you, many do not accept this), Matter is the medium through which Spirit plays out its story.  And we are all co-creators of this thrilling tale, and particularly more effective ones when we drop the little-mind's pretension and *Git in It!* - invite our full attention into the present, the Now, the Big Mind's adventure.  It's terribly difficult to Act from an original freshening perspective if one is still stuck in the cycle of re-acting based solely on the ego's cranky response to external stimulus.  In your human life, you may find yourself privy to the experience of a call sounding in the Heart.  A longing, pure and simple to return to center and live from a higher perspective - beyond questions of the movements of small green pieces of paper, beyond the epically fun, unnecessarily overcomplicated questions of what shall we eat?  Where shall we live?  With whom shall we make love?  The quest is simply to Love reality by engaging it whole-heartedly, and to look past illusory barriers to Love.  That's all, and the simplicity of humankind's current challenge: to extend empathy beyond cultural borders before our speedy advances in the art of warfare overtake our capacity for collective concern, is one I am familiar with, because it is echoed in my personal challenges.  I can't create weapons, but I can choose to hurt or help my fellow humans; choose to hurt or help myself as well.

This weird concept which I am officially promulgating, using the Internet, (ah, that great beacon of every fool having his say!) is a little bit Christian, a little bit Jewish, but it's mostly just what I would like to call Enlightened Paganism.  It should be applicable to any faith tradition, but in truth it is all simply my own developing perspective inspired by my cultural/religious roots - oh, the joy of specificity!

The mother and son, both divine, is one of the most enduring images in pagan art, and I believe this tale has redemptive potential.  It goes both ways too: sometimes Athena gets born from the cracked-open head of her father, Zeus.  The concept of rebirth and resurrection is intimately connected to the physical environment: the cycles of the heavenly bodies, the turning of the seasons, the flourishing and fading and flourishing of the harvest that sustains us.  If we are not disconnected from our agricultural roots, then it would not be offensive to suggest that God is in the turning of the seasons, even more so than in the turning of pages of text.

יהוה is.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

You know what I love?

My period.  Oh, mama. ;p

I have the best dreams around my cycle.  Ever since I took notice of the lucid nature of the dreams I experience while bleeding, I have enjoyed hearing and seeing what they have to say.

This month, I was shown a chase, a race, a wheel I've been involved in in my life.  Two men, their figures all aglow, were present, and one continuously receded from me, while the other advanced toward me.  The faces they wore were of the two men with whom I had relationships last year.  The one that ran away, I chased.  The one that gave his time and attention to me, I rejected.

Classic Lady Problems!!!!!!! XD

Anyway, it was very interesting.  I'm not sure what to make of the dreams prominence in my psyche yet.

So instead, I would like to abruptly change the subject and say that the way to the Heart, to access the expansive Love I am a part of as a creature in this weird universe, seems to me to be guarded by the gross gargoyle of fear.  There's a flamboyant dragon of Things To Lose that keeps a roost over the citadel of the Heart.  Fear.

Ok, let's play this game again, because I've grown weary of being weary.  I would like to continue with my love of Existing, and find fun things to do that are both helpful and giggle-inducing.

All whilst living in the tension-laced, perpetually unstable climate of the Middle East.  Hey, it's no big deal.  Or maybe it is.  But if the universe has some helpful strategic en-lightening position for me to play here BRING IT.  :D

I think I'm going to get a job..


Time to put the best foot forward..

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Green Ink: Ramblin's and Writing

Emptiness, you are the mother of all things.

Ideals encircle me; closed, complete.  Fixtures in which there is no need, no restless hum to search, to seek.  Idols; dead things.  They are not real!  But I am.  I am real.  Therefore presence must be Here, but I am not aware of it because I am it.

I am bleeding green all over this page and my rage is... quiet, but thick and filling the air of my dreams for life with death, death, death.  I can't Imagine from reality, or tell a story to inspire me.

Help.

Who?

Who do you think?

There is only one help, the Universe is it's name.  It runs on Mystery and befuddling is its beginning and end.  Whatsoever thou be called, thou Art.

Thou simply Art.

so, tell me a story.  A good one, spun with love like a drunk, happy spider.

********************************


I've been down long enough to realize
that this is the forest floor.

My eyes, once blinded, are growing accustomed to the silver-blue glow of moonlight that reveals silhouettes of puff-ball purple flowers and sprays of yellow buds that shiver and spark in all their simplicity and make the night worth living through..

On a never-ending journey through the Heart of this forest, we are... sweet like roses... wise as snakes... we are... in the flow; the green ink that runs through her trees.



********************************

Inky Dark

I am the inky, quiet dark
that precedes your spinning spark:
footfalls like a great gold bear,
on mountain galaxies hung in air.

Stars spin themselves into being, released,
when we kiss - endless, restless peace.
Itchy, twitchy, richly bliss,
deep thrumming hums, can you handle this?

I am the wrecked battle ship,
fit for firing bone to bits.
I shattered into a kindling heap
on rocks like flocks of sharpened sheep.

This pitiable pile will be rebuilt,
into a home, a cabin on stilts.
The truce was called, I raised the bar
that stopped the flow of Whatever You Are

I am wood and flesh and bone;
I am home for spirit in stone.

I am bewildered, therefore I write.
May we sweep the cobwebs...
and turn on the light?

---Evergreen

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Dream Over Analysis #1

I really enjoyed my dream last night, as I often do during my monthly cycle.  Gents, I'm sure that's too much information; Ladies, consider keeping a dream journal? - you might find some beauteous things happening in your dream world during your cycle...  It's a powerful time once a month to shed old dreams and let new ones come to the surface.

I dreamed I was living on an island, surrounded by the sea.  I was part of a water-tribe of some sort, and our simple celebrations of the seasons brought a lot of color to our lives, as did our primitive and symbolic art.  I had children, and taught them art and anthropology in a classroom that looked out on the ocean.  One day, on the chalkboard, I saw a drawing of a white triangle and a black triangle butted against each other, and words appeared:  "Leo Noble is to marry Linda Wilde."  Perhaps my conscious (Leo sun sign) and subconscious (Libra moon sign) minds are getting serious about taking their relationship to the next level?

Leo is obvious enough - the Lion King of the skies, ruled by the sun. Warm, effulgent, positive.

Linda... I had to look up the name.  It means "soft, gentle" in its germanic roots, "pretty" in spanish, and may reference Oroboros as in "Lindworm" (seaserpent).  Wikipedia says: "Muchalinda is also the name of the naga (snake-like being), who protected the Buddha from the elements after his enlightenment" 

I like that last part the best... and it is relevant to something I've been pondering lately, which is the role of the ego...

I like to make people comfortable, I try to be as pleasant as possible, and sometimes I am a regular ol' ball of fluff and sunshine.  But I also have this trouble with Not Saying What I Really Want, and then getting super pissed when people don't read my mind.  So that's dumb.

Leo (happy cat) and Linda (snarky serpent) need to work together in their relationship as Aspects of My Personality.

I was under an incredible amount of stress for several days this week due to poor planning on my part and the looming deadline of needing to move everything I own from one city to another.  I wanted to ask for help with these tasks, but... I really didn't.  People even offered help that I turned down, and I ended up doing most everything myself.  This story doesn't have a 180 degree turnaround where everything got easier.  It was just stupid.  I should ask for help when I need it.

The fluffball of Love and effulgence (the serene and most enlightened Buddha)... well, sometimes he needs a silver-tongued and shrewd shepherdess (the naga that surrounds the light, shielding it from the harsh elements of life) to speak up and get shit done!

I'm glad I am both.  What would the one do without the other?  Happily married, dark and light, for life. <3

Look, here is a duck with a sun for one arm and a moon for the other... ;}

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

In the Vine

My psyche is a colorful place.  I hope you will enjoy reading the tales of my inner and outer adventures as I embark on a new branch of my life's journey.

This blog is a place for me to spill thoughts and make interesting word-y messes, untangle and weave idea webs and create castles in the sky and roots for them in the earth.  I'm gonna see if I can put the inner metaphors and outer realaphors into the same storytelling blog...

It's been a wonderful two years of wild adventures.  I've wandered like a nomad from ideas and places that used to seem utterly fixed in stone, and it has been liberating indeed.  I've learned that nothing is fixed in stone, except our thought forms and maybe the law of gravity.  And I've also learned that to accept the anomie, the loose ends inherent in this whirled, I can begin to catch a glimpse of the seamless unity that lurks in the connectedness of all things.  Always a valley before a hill, always a night before a dawn...  This is my inner experiment: to bring light (to "enlighten") all of the dense and darkened corners of my psyche.  As Jung said, "Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light, but making the darkness conscious."

In my external direction, this took the form of purposely placing myself in uncomfortable situations, like the Hanged One in tarot, to challenge myself and hopefully grow.  Last year on Yah B'Shvat (Tu B'Shvat - the jewish new year for Trees), I set an intention for myself that I would release my Judgemental nature.  Every day that I walked to work here in Austin, TX at a frame shop / art gallery, I passed a car (not-so-coincidentally the same model I used to drive in San Anton' two years ago), with a bumper sticker that said "Prejudice rarely survives experience."  And this is what I was after: Wisdom, which is rooted in Experience. I wanted to experience life, experience being human, to a fuller extent than I had before..  to break down the jericho walls of my own cloistered heart, and stand with two feet on the ground, where I could feel the earth's heartbeat connect me to every human and creature and tree.

But I have so much to learn!  The more I know, the more I know I do not know!  So I keep at it, a fool, a novice, on the path of Love.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

And now I am taking the leap into the greatest journey yet:  I am moving to Israel in a few weeks, where I plan to learn hebrew, learn arabic, love my family, dance with other open-hearted Lovers and Friends, and become more fully responsible for myself in both artistic and practical ways.  I want this blog to continue to connect us, heart-to-heart, my dear friends I have met along the way.

May your year be blessed, and may you hear your heart speak, leading you in the best way to your own bliss and growth.

Love always,

Debs
aka
‎דבורה ליאורה



Thursday, October 4, 2012

She

We have no mother but the Earth
From her we take our noble birth
Her spirit is the wind, you see
She's the Person of reality

She lives in me

I tell you, it's no metaphor
We have a goddess to adore
And she is here
Near and clear

She is our mother earth

And if you hear her call to you
From within a mind that's blue
Don't resist her presence now
Let your ego take a bow
Join the flow, don't stay apart

Serve her Heart

And she will lead your mind to peace